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21 juin I NeedI need a friend
who doesn't borrow
money without paying it back in the morrow
one who doesn't smoke crack
I need a friend
who will more often come back
I need a friend who hasn't spent time in the pen
full of stories of what he did when he was in
I need a friend
without armed service PTSD
who drinks way too much
then sees me as the enemy
I need a friend
whose not dying from alcoholism
telling stories of eleven months
and twenty-nine days in the county prison
I need a friend
not addicted to prescription drugs
on the pity-pot looking at me
for unconditional love
I need a friend
who doesn't steal money from my purse
saying how their life is the absolute worst
I need a friend
who doesn't stare at my breasts
that I'm the sexiest oh yes I'm the best
I need a friend
without stories about
guns and bookies, sex and drugs that I doubt
I need a neighbor
whose dog doesn't shit square in my yard
whose son smokes that crack
and man is he wired
Man I need a neighbor
with a voter registration card
I need my family
who shows they give a damn
I need my family
to love who I am
I need a government
who doesn't sell out
who cares for the people
whose not such in doubt
written 6-21-06
Trinity Keller 14 juin The WellMy plate is empty, my cup is full
The well now filled with water
Cool and fresh while in a lull
Reflects my essence so well
I wanted to love you, believed that I would
Still it just was not enough
Now buckets of tears spill as they should
Making waves that appear so rough
Essence to essence
Well to well
It looks as if the tides may swell
To swallow me or cradle me
It's simply too soon to tell
My well is full of water
just for the one who could partake
While the winds of change blow hard against
The one it will forsake
I pray someday he'll understand
Why I left him in the wake
Essence to essence
Well to well
May never come to pass
But at least I live my life in truth
May God forgive my sins transgressed
I need to travel this path alone
Because I've made that choice
But sometimes in my dreams he walks with me
Oh how I rejoice!
Essence to essence
Well to well
Soon all the elements will swell
To burn in me, swiftly carry me
Towards a life full of water in the well
Trinity Keller
written December 2001
10 juin AnchorsI'm a boat drifting
Rockin down Denial River
My anchor has left
Well, it wasn't the best
I need to touch base
Explain this battered heart to someone safe
Who can assure me my life is not a waste
To tell me I'm not falling apart
I don't want to go sailing
Or drift out to sea
I want a strong anchor
To protect and not leave me
Throughout my life my anchors have changed
My parents managed within their range
Dad left our tumultuous nest
Then only Mom was left
I've had anchors who've lied
Those who have died
I've been stuck in debris
I've had those who never cared about me
Once again I floated out to sea
These days I look
To find my own hook
I can anchor myself
Put behind those others
On a dusty shelf
What I have discovered
Anchors cannot be lovers
Earthly anchors cannot pass the test
But my Lord Almighty is completely the best
Trinity Keller
RSS Syndicated
written 2003 When The Big Guy CallsI want to dance, to leap and fly
Blow kisses to passers-by
I want be free from physical pain
To stand out in the pouring rain
I want to knock right on your door
I want to join the Peace Corps
I want what we once had
Before it all went bad
I want to be a spy
And join the FBI
I want to learn to shoot a gun
To understand how war is won
I want to be an actress
To wear again my first wedding dress
I want to be pregnant
To be a blood parent
I want to write a book
I want to bait my own hook
I want to be a bricklayer
I want to be a soothesayer
To learn to play the mandolin
And try much harder not to sin
I want to know the bible better
And climb up Jacob's Ladder
I want to see an angel's face
I want to fix up this old place
I want to always tell the truth
Sometimes I am so uncouth
I want to keep my side of the street clean
To trust in God more and not be mean
But most of all, most of all
I want to hold you in my arms
When the Big Guy calls
Dedicated to my husband Joe
March 6th 1950-December 26th 2002
written April 2002
Trinity Keller
RSS syndicated
8 juin Growing PainsGrowing Pains
Thoughts, ideas
On a jet plane
Soaring then crashing
Oh these growing pains
My feelings thrown here
Feelings strewn there
Anger is everywhere
now beating on the door
Fear comes out for me
waiting on the floor
Grief is in the corner hiding
then plodding down the hall
Joy I can find anywhere at all
Sadness on the ceiling
as I stare up from my bed
Hope is on the telephone
with just a hint of dread
I'm growing, I'm living!
I'm alone, yet I'm giving
Because I'm feeling, not dying
Growing pains, crying.
Trinity Keller
written July 2002
3 juin RawRaw
I had to let myself feel raw
Let go of it all, let it thaw
No cosmetics, too many tears
Naked to myself
Was the grief of all the years
I lost all my power
Didn't take a shower
Choked down my food
Just not in the mood
Wringing hands, pacing floors
Trying to sleep then up punching doors
Screaming at God, my body sore
Awakened from my mumblings
Is that someone coming?
Endless anguish, lost track of time
Only nightmares, lost my mind
Sweating and trembling
Awakened by my mumblings
Feel like Raggedy Anne
In a frying pan
Cannot stand the heat
Nor stand upon my feet
Now one phone call away
Just another bite
One more pill, just another drink
One more hit, one more bet
Won't that make it alright?
Trinity Keller
Written 1/2004 Helium BalloonHelium Balloon
Wanna pack a light bag and leave my home
Roll some wheels underneath these aging bones
Soothe my restless gypsy heart
Out my front door is where I'll start
From Mainstream America I got to get away
To British Columbia or maybe L.A.
Drive down to Dallas, sky dive from a plane
Sittin' in this suburb is drivin' me insane
I heard Sante Fe has the bluest skies
Arizona is warm and dry
In this river valley I just wheeze
Some place drier if you please
That train whistle blows long into the night
I lay in my bed and I think I might
Visit some other cities before they're blown away
Maybe find another place I might wanna stay
To a beach or Key West to tend some bar
Sit on a beach and strum my guitar
Got no kids and I got no man
Got no reason not to blow this pop stand
I'm a hellium balloon
Stuck in too little room
Lookin' for means to escape
Trinity Keller
written 2/2004 Boxcar RunawayBoxcar Runaway
Ridin' a train
Goin' insane
Lookin' at all the cities
Isn't it a pity
Runnin' away in a boxcar
Ridin' a train
Been lots of places
Seen lots of faces
They leave like the clouds
As they rush towards the sinkin' sun
People hang around until
My life stops bein' fun
Nothin's the same, no one to blame
Ridin' a train
Wrapped up in a dirty coat
Take a pull from a sad little bottle of blues
Bum a cheap cigarette
Now that you died I'm wonderin'
What's the use?
Clickity-clack, clickity clack
Runnin' out of jack
But I got a knapsack
Runnin' away, don't wanna go back
I never got to tell you goodbye
Left with questions, no reasons why
They couldn't keep your tired old heart
Beatin' on in a jar
Lookin' out into the night I see
One more absolutely brilliant shining star
Ridin' a train, ridin' a train, ridin' a train
Trinity Keller
written 2/2003 |
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